i met the god inside me and she was not kind

she did not whisper

she screamed

she threw my name back at me

like a curse

and laughed when i flinched

she was barefoot

bloody

beautiful in the way a collapsing star is beautiful

all gravity and no mercy

i asked her

why do you hurt me

she said

because you keep calling it love

she carried a knife

but it was not for others

it was for carving the truth

into my own ribs

word by word

name by name

lie by lie

she kissed me once

on the mouth

and i tasted rust and birth

she told me

you are not broken

you are feral

you are not lonely

you are wild

stop waiting

for someone

to come

and calm

your storms

you were never meant

to be calm

you are the sea

the howl

the unfinished prayer

so rise

dripping

half-mad

eyes full of fire

and teeth bared in grin

and love them

if you must

but never

ever again

forget who you are